This week Lee and Dan visit the dystopian future of the Sylvester Stallone film Demolition Man and for once turn out a podcast that feels semi polished and professional. It may have more to do with Dan’s editing or perhaps Lee’s ban on hovercraft shopping for the 60 minutes or so it took to record.
The highlights:
the most justifiably complex synopsis yet
Sandra Bullock wears tight pants in this and Dan is the sexist one
apologies for past sins (hovercrafts are mentioned)
Lee has seen the future and is unimpressed
Dan agrees.
There is actually some intelligent discussion regarding futuristic settings
Where the hell was Al Leong?!!
There is a lot of discussion around some of the more sizeable plot holes
There is some mention of a video in the podcast and unfortunately due to unforeseen circumstances there is no video however it would have been hilarious and would have involved me making a cup of tea illustrating my apathy towards Demolition Man.
Regards
Lee
Dan’s Rating:
Lee’s Rating:
Next week Dan and Lee are watching The Neverending Story, cue the music…
This week Dan and Lee go to the world of Kung Fu and hovercrafts in Rumble in the Bronx. The warning is that they talk about the movie for about ten minutes and then discuss hovercrafts for what feels like hours.
Enjoy!
Dan discusses the definition of art
Lee is confused about wallflowers at singles dances
Rumble in the podcast!!
Lee delivers potentially the worst synopsis yet
There is a subtle reference to hovercrafts
Dan’s mixed heritage is revealed
Housewife corner with Lee and Dan
Rats ate Lee’s jacket
Crappy dialogue
There is an audio clip missing which may show up somewhere else during the podcast – try and work out where as I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Dan doesn’t need a big television
Racism raises it’s ugly head again
Brotherhood of the Wolf is awesome!
The lack of cushions
Jackie Chan lays some truth on the bad guys
Another subtle reference to hovercrafts
Dan turns to Wikipedia Lee turns to Amazon…
Dan hates Bruce Lee
Jackie Chan is a classy dude
Radioactive beer man!!
It’s a Jackie Chan love-in!
More tiny references to hovercrafts
Buying a hovercraft!!!
More hovercraft related information
The hovercraft malarkey continues…
Chickens and the demise of Dan’s second favourite
Dan and Lee eventually go back to talking about Rumble in the Bronx
The cup of tea test is back!!
Lee was wrong twice but you shouldn’t blame the Coen Brothers
The worst Amazon pitch you’ll ever hear
Dan and Lee finish on an in-depth discussion of Sylvester Stallone’s buttocks.
Well actually they end on how Lee still hasn’t finished Dan’s new header image (but there are blueprints!!)
This week’s midnight movie club movie appears to be a slam dunk; spaceships, explosions and giant bugs! On paper it sounds like the perfect film for the club or is it?
Would you like to know more?
Oh.
Really? Ummm okay then ahhhh in the podcast this week:
Dan makes a very exuberant greeting.
Dan and Lee are old.
Arjan is not.
There are 86% less insults directed at the Dutch.
Apparently Lee spoke to Casper Van Dien at some stage on MySpace.
There are 100% more references to flogging than before.
Lee is better and more widely read than Dan or Arjan.
No one is defending the Nazis.
Surprisingly less talk about balls.
Matt pops in for a cup of tea and some points about Starship Troopers.
No one likes Carmen.
No really, no one.
Doogie Howser MD.
Lee, Dan and Arjan discuss nudity *giggle* *snigger*
There are bug puns!!!
Everyone turns on Arjan when he refers to Denise Richards as eye candy.
Arjan then brings up penis removal?!?
Arjan then manages to jam Warhammer into the conversation.
Lee and Dan wonder why they invite the Dutch on to the podcast.
It’s a big file and it goes for about an hour and a half.
But we think it’s worth it
Listen to us discuss the effect alien invasion would have on Con Air Blu-ray supplies, how no one ever cares if the nazi dies, ID4 alien prisoner of war rights violations and how the nuclear weapon ruined the alien’s lunch hour.
Starring: John Travolta, Christian Slater, Samantha Mathis
Corrupt Air Force major (Travolta) intentionally crash lands a U.S. plane in the middle of the desert and holds two nuclear warheads for ransom. The only ones who can stop him are his co-pilot (Slater) and a U.S. park ranger (Mathis) patrolling the area .
This week we’re flying solo again. Marvel as we give an intelligent, in depth and witty report on the film…
Fine.
Who am I kidding!?
We get caught up in butterfly conversations and ramble on about Christian Slater’s career.
Starring: Roger Moore, Michael Lonsdale, Lois Chiles, Richard Kiel
Moonraker is the eleventh Bond film, and the fourth to star Roger Moore. In the movie Bond is sent to investigate the theft of a space shuttle. He follows the trail of clues from California to Venice, Rio de Janeiro, and the Amazon rain forest. Finally Bond and his female companion (Dr. Holly Goodhead) eventually ending up in outer space battling the evil Hugo Drax and foiling his plans to destroy humanity and create a master race.
The midnight movie session:
I remember watching Moonraker as a child and being absolutely petrified of Jaws. There was something about his lumpy head that disturbed me. Now I know that the actor suffers from a form of gigantism called acromegaly, which explains his unusual appearance. However there’s no room for political correctness in the nightmares of a eight year old.
Now this was Jaws’ second outing in a Bond film is that right?
Yes, he was in The Spy Who Loved Me although apparently he was a lot less comedic in that one. Not that I found him very funny when I was eight. And is it me or is that woman he hooks up with more disturbing than he is?
OK I’m talking ahead of myself now (I’m going home tonight to watch the rest of the film now as I need to be able to discuss this), but isn’t she small? The whole irony of how Jaws and this tiny woman didn’t fit in the ‘perfect society’.
Yes she’s small. And she has pigtails, freaky pig tails. To be honest I’m sort of with Hugo Drax – these people have no place in society.
Did I just advocate genocide then? I think I did. I think I just advocated genocide. Maybe this Midnight Movie thing is not such a good idea after all
However scary I found Moonraker, it pales into insignificance when compared to Live and Let Die. I still refuse to watch that movie. That Baron Samedi is going to come for my liver one night, I just know it.
I’m sitting here watching the movie as I type this and I have to say that they weren’t even trying anymore with the name Dr. Holly Goodhead!? I mean they have thrown innuendo out the window with these names!!!
Sorry I’ll go back to watching the movie.
I think they could have at least given her the first name of “Givessomemightyfine”
I’m actually rolling around on the floor laughing, it’s not just an interwebz saying people!! I’m living this.
Oh yeah it should be explained too that these midnight sessions aren’t going to read like your average review, I’m sure I’ll be the worst for it but I’m just going to be blurting stuff out as I think of it and often whilst watching the movie. Sometimes Dan will have already watched it and I’ll be catching up or vice versa (we have different midnights)
No doubt it will give many of you headaches, I suggest then just reading Dan’s bits which I’m sure will be much more coherant.
To be honest I’m just planning on writing my own independent post and simply cutting and pasting it whenever Lee stops typing. It’s roughly the same method of communication I use within my marriage.
Ironically my method of blurting random things out is generally how i communicate in my marriage too, Tracey is a very patient woman.
Speaking of cutting and pasting: It’s not the most popular choice, but Roger Moore has always been my favorite Bond. While others criticise his reign for being too frivolous, I find the lighthearted tone and heavy use of slapstick very enjoyable. Moore has a delightful twinkle in his eye that no other Bond has ever managed to replicate in my opinion.
Saying that, Moonraker takes the buffoonery to a level of ridiculousness that even I have difficulty swallowing. I mean what on earth was going on with that Venetian gondola/hovercraft? Especially the gold tassels on the air cushion!?
So I’m through the movie – I rushed home to watch it completely simply because Dan was showing off his tassels knowledge and I got jealous.
I must say that I thought I would cringe more (is that a shameful pun) when watching Roger Moore’s Bond, simply because I remember him being so tongue in cheek and I haven’t watched one of his for years. But I found myself really enjoying his snappy British wit, particulary in the g force machine when Goodhead tells him that a 70 year old could withstand 3 g and he replies that that’s the problem, there’s never a 70 year old around when you need one.
*snigger* “Goodhead”. Actually if you watch closely there is occasional bursts of dark menace in Moores performance, almost worthy of Daniel Craig. However it could just have just been indigestion of course.
No I SO get what you are saying, even before when I hadn’t watched the whole movie there were flashes of seriousness that probably explain why he was brought back so many times as James Bond.
It certainly wasn’t ALL wink wink nudge nudge
I’m also thinking about the scene where Drax sets his dogs onto the woman who helped Bond take a look in the safe. That’s quite a brutal scene.
Where was I before I got serious?? That’s right LOL gold tassles – I’m more concerned over the pigeon doing the double take, I mean what a truly rediculous thing to include in the film, and that gondola that has to be up the with the worst of the Bond vehicles, I mean really, next they’ll have a diamond encrusted yo-yo that slices people’s heads off… nevermind.
The reference though to Bond throwing his hat, when he does so on the gondola is kind of neat if you are a Bond nut which I’m not but I seem to remember a huge amount about very trivial things. In the earlier movies when hats where still in style Bond would throw his hat across the room and have it land on the hat stand, presumably to impress Moneypenny. So that was nice if you are looking far too much into things.
I didn’t notice the double taking pigeons. But then you do have a bit of a thing about anthropomorphised animals. Didn’t you start sending Lucas death threats after the CGI gophers in the new Indiana Jones film?
And rightly so, in my defence.
NIT PICK!!! I have to declare a nit pick, at the start of the film when the Moonraker shuttle breaks away from the 747 jumbo, look I’m a spaceship geek – that’s not how space shuttles work!?!?! You can’t fly one off the back of a 747.
Can you do it off a 748?
Well a 748 is a different story… no. Even if you were to actually fly it off the back of the plane the shuttle is not very aerodynamic – apparently it handles like a falling brick.
It should also be noted that as I worked my way through the film this not the only implausible concept I encountered, I’ll try and keep it to a dull roar though.
Random thought too, I can’t stress how much I enjoy the James Bond gun barrel stuff at the start of the film. It’s an institution.
Geek alert – using the tones from the film Close Encounters of the Third Kind was awesome. If not entirely cheesy and an admission that the franchise was trying to get some of that sweet sweet scifi money that was all the rage at the time.
Apparently the next film scheduled to be made was actually For Your Eyes Only, not Moonraker, but after 1977′s Star Wars the producers decided that a space theme might be more financially lucrative. It worked too; Moonraker was the highest grossing Bond film until Goldeneye came along.
Wow I would have thought Octopussy or even A View to a Kill would have made more money, I certainly remember them the most but I suspect that has more to do with my age than box office.
So I really liked how Jaws fell in love with the young lady who was not even half as freakish as you described, I was expecting an Oompa Loompa or a Jawa but she wasn’t freaky at all except for the pig tails.
But I like Jaws and Bond coming to an agreement and then Jaws swapping sides because in Drax land he would not have a place. I was a little confused about his girlfriend though, was she working for Drax originally or did Jaws get her the gig?
I can’t let the comment from Bond slide though when he says that Jaws and his lady friend will be OK because it is only 100 miles to Earth… ARGGGGG. They did have NASA back then?!?! I mean I know there was no Wikipedia but surely they could have fact checked something in a book, or rang someone?!?
I’ll let all the lasers go, I think it was a stretch, but we were firmly in fantasy land…
Erm….excuse my ignorance, but what’s wrong with it being 100 miles from earth?
Well the international Space Station sits around 200 to 240 miles from Earth, but consider falling even a mile in a chunk of space station. That’s not cool, that’s going to leave a mark when you land.
But he’s Jaws. He’ll probably bite through the atmosphere or something. Anyway they were rescued by the good guys a the end, it said so over the radio whilst Bond and Goodhead were joining the 240 mile high club.
Incidentally I read something about sex in zero gravity the other day. It was saying that it isn’t quite as romantic as you’d imagine. Something to do with all the squelchy bits floating around in a rather unnerving manner.
So final thoughts: Watching it as an adult I enjoyed Moonraker quite a bit more than I thought I would, given its reputation. The complete lack of plot irritated me at times, as it just seemed to jump from one set piece to another. But overall I think it stands up pretty well considering it’s age and the restraints on special effects at the time.
My final thoughts are that I’m surprised how well this holds up, I have to admit to remembering very little of the film so it all felt fairly new to me. There were a LOT of space shuttles and frankly that will get me over the line everytime! One thing which was more than obvious is that this is where Mike Myers drew a lot of inspiration Austin Powers the Spy Who Shagged Me and so it was kind of nice seeing the origin of that.
Also we got to see a cool space battle!
My double shot soy flat white rating is 6 cups out a possible 10
What the hell is a double shot soy flat white!? I’ll agree with you on the rating, but go for more traditional source of caffeine: 6 out of a possible 10 cans of diet coke.
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